Halloween (1978 USA)

He’s gone! The evil has gone!” Bug eyed Dr Loomis (Donald Pleasence) screams. This hilarious line stands out from such a bare bones of a screenplay. John Carpenter’s direction makes a lot out of such simple elements as: shadows, dark streets, creaking doors, that it makes even the everyday setting of a small town neighborhood claustrophobically terrifying. Of course, back when this was made there were no smart phones or CCTV to combat predatory homicidal stalkers. Although it wasn’t the first of its kind, Halloween certainly was the game-changer for almost every other slasher flick that followed this low-budget indie horror. But they only ended up imitating the formula that this sick ‘classic’ originated. [Read more…]

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The Blob (1958 USA)

Hardly substantial enough to be a guilty pleasure, let alone a cult film: a giant quivering mound of raspberry (or is it blackcurrant?) jelly chasing – and often catching – fleeing, highly respectable teenagers on a weekend night. From the moment we hear Burt Bacharach’s opening theme song “Beware of the Blob!” we know we’re in for a good, solid, campy light hearted fun. Refreshingly free of any scientific investigation/jargon. I like to watch this stuff for historical reasons: the 50’s cars, teens in high collar shirts and high pants, crime-free suburbia, Polio posters, proper girls, crooked teeth, chess games, super friendly cops… [Read more…]

The Catcher In The Rye (J D Salinger)

book cover(This post is dedicated to Holden Caulfield. Within these pages is the story he wrote. Can you dig it?) A tale about two days in the life of a recently expelled sixteen year old youth. Not wanting to face the wrath of his parents, he decides to avoid home for a few days (until he’s expected back), living on his own in the city. The premise is merely a foundation for his simplistic views and disintegrating reasoning process. He considers everyone around him to be fake and undeserving of his time, yet it is obvious that Holden is just as`phony’ as the rest of them. He goes on dates, gets trashed in bars, sneaks off to visit his sister, imposes (or does he?) on a former teacher and even has a run in with a pimp. What a boring little bastard! [Read more…]

Harry Potter And The Philosopher’s Stone (J.K. Rowling)

harry potterBetter latent than never. OK, millions of children and tweens kiss these holy pages every night and morn, and it’s quite sweet. But, having read all of them and a load of actual literature, I am inclined to think this is poppycock. And what is all this nonsense about it being so original. Platform 9 and 3/4 ?! Has any one ever read Eva Ibbotson’s The Secret Of Platform 13? A secret platform on Kings Cross station that leads to a magical castle. Sound familiar? The plot lines are all pinched from folklore and superior children’s literature. [Read more…]

Porky’s (Canada/USA 1981)

porkysI am really scraping at the bottom of the barrel here. For some sorry souls Bob Clark’s smutty box office smash still qualifies as nostalgia. This review does not have to hurt too much. You can always apply something to numb your eyes. I hope any pain may turn into some pleasure.  If you could at least smile while reading this, that would be awesome. [Read more…]

FUNHOUSE ( United States 1981)

tob Who could fail to make a good horror movie out of a carnival? It has all the perfect ingredients: freaks, sleazy hustlers, creepy fun houses…Four potty-mouth teenagers decide to spend the night in the spooky ‘funhouse’ located in a carnival notorious for leaving (presumably) a string murders that were left unresolved. [Read more…]

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