Holy Smoke (1999 Australia)

The bad news: That filthy old lecher Harvey Keitel is naked. A lot. (I thought I was in hell enduring root canal surgery when this was happening…telling myself this can’t be happening!) Now the good news: So is Kate Winslet. So don’t get me wrong, there is much to see that might arouse a smile in this motion picture. But if you are looking for any redeeming value, enjoyment or creativity, then don’t waste two hours out of your life on this crap fest. Despite commendable acting from the film’s main actress, Harvey Keitel looks embarrassingly like an amateur in a high school drama. Quite strange considering she was only 23 and he was a whopping 60. In fact, why don’t I just shine a light on many of the problems and just plain perversity contained within this flick from the land down under? [Read more…]

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The Thomas Crown Affair (1999 USA)

This is really a love story for anyone who imagines being whisked away from the mundane into places that you’ve only read or heard about in glossy magazines. It’s a film for any person out there who’d like to have the freedom to do what they want and damn the consequences. Well, either that or have enough money to do anything, then disappear. The Thomas Crown Affair is a world where time means nothing, and money is just, well, not an issue. Its only numbers! This is my kind of motion picture. I feel it was made just for me. I probably would have sold my grandmother for the price of an admission ticket. Its that yummy & delicious. [Read more…]

The Mummy (Hollywood 1999)

the-mummy-1999-the-mummy-movies-4379715-960-536(What a hair do for an alpha male – NOT!)
During the 1990’s a stream of remakes came out using the old Universal horror films with the monsters: Dracula (Bram Stoker’s Dracula), Frankenstein (Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein), The Wolf Man (Wolf) and this Raiders Of The Lost Ark version of our favourite Egyptian monster. This Stephen Sommers – directed effort has librarian and aspiring archaeologist Evelyn (Rachel Wiesz), accompanied by her brother Jonathan (John Hannah), enlisting the help of French Foreign Legion soldier Rick O’Connell (Brendan Fraser) to find a lost Egyptian city. In other words, “kill the bad guy, rescue damsel in distress (not that dress) and save the world.” Has anyone ever asked the world if it wants to be saved? Thought not… [Read more…]

Deep Blue Sea (1999 USA)

saffron burrows“Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I shall fear no evil. For thou art with me. Thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life. Because I carry a big stick and I’m the meanest m****r f****r in the valley! Two sharks down, Lord! One demon fish to go! Can I get an Amen?” Thus spake L.L. Cool J. With so many shark films out there, there needs to be something that sets a flick apart from the rest. For as many good points that Deep Blue Sea achieves, its mediocrities end up sinking a lot of good will. Director Renny Harlin knew that audiences wanted several things: 1) good-looking sharks 2) creative shark attacks 3) good-looking actors… [Read more…]

THE SIXTH SENSE (1999 United States)

sixthOne of those rare horror stories that also works as a tear-jerker. A creepy plot that might make you sad. This combination is executed very impressively, with A Turn Of The Screw tragic feel to it that Henry James himself may have recognized. Linking children to the paranormal through loss is a strong method to emotionally engage the audience.
[Read more…]

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