Getting Into Heaven (1970 USA)

(NSFW) Dig the clip of Uschi and her stuffed tiger….GRRR!! Heaven is an aspiring starlet with a roommate named Sin (short for Cindy, get it?) Both are willing to do anything to get into the movies. Mr. Salacity is a disgusting executive who demands that the two women sleep with him as an “audition.” This doesn’t bode well with police officer, Bernie, Heaven’s new boyfriend. They fell in love after she ran over his foot. Bernie wants Heaven to marry him, but she can’t marry him and become an actress too, can she? And will Mr Salacity give Heaven and Sin parts in his next ‘motion picture’? So many questions, so much drama!

He wants Heaven to give up her dreams of stardom and marry him, but she bargains for one more chance to make it in show business. Will taking Mr. Salacity hostage and forcing him into a marathon sex session result in acting roles for Heaven and Sin? And can they get a role for their blonde pal, Karen? How could anyone bear the suspense of this plot? Usually given bit parts and throwaway roles with no dialogue, Getting Into Heaven is Uschi’s movie and hers alone. Jennie Lynn is attractive and can deliver lines like anyone, and she does take part in a steamy oil massage with Uschi. But she is completely overshadowed by the permanently tanned double-D’s of Die Uschi  at the peak of her career. As a 21 year old here she seems to be on another level of maturity compared to the infantile Kim Kardashian.

But why read my glorious outpourings when you can just admire the pictures?….

                                                …. For those who are bored with words….

                                            …. Yes, we’re worried about your hair too…

And for anyone who writes off Uschi (credited here as Marie Marceau for whatever reason) as just another voluptuous hippy being silly in a very silly era, see this film. She delivers her lines flawlessly, with good comic timing, her body language perfect. For this kind of role, her performance doesn’t falter once. Several first timers viewing a non-stop skin flick may find it boring because of the lack of any real plot intricacy. But if you are interested in Uschi Digard, this is one of her few starring roles. Just soak yourself into every inch of that Germanic body. Drown in her infectious smile – and laugh with the utterly dumb humour and smutty innuendo. So what has this skin flick actually have going for it? In two words: Uschi Digard.

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