Wonder Woman (2017 USA)

Mainstream films get dumber, louder and tackier all the time, and they substitute mawkishness for real emotion and character development. Banned in Lebanon, but to really do it justice this pile of crap should be banned everywhere! WW is really the same as every other cartoonish, overblown comic-book action flick, except with a female protagonist. Actually, this is worse than the average comic book movie, because it preaches to the audience about pacifism but then hypocritically celebrates “heroic” violence. In other words: Wonder Woman is an alleged pacifist who enjoys killing lots of  people. But wait!, all is not lost, WW delivers on three things – lots of slow mo, dodgy special effects, and painful clichés.

I could forgive Wonder Woman’s flimsy social commentary, if it were any good in other respects. But the plot is loose and shabby, the CGI is poor, and about half the scenes were shot in front of a green screen. Sometimes, I couldn’t tell if I was watching a real motion picture, or Patty Jenkins playing God of War on her Playstation 2. Or maybe she was just playing with herself in front of a picture of Gloria Steinem. When exactly did cinema and video games blend into this horrible hybrid art form, which has none of the beauty and charm of old-school cinema? And don’t get me started on the villains. And here, yet again, the World War I era Germans are depicted as cartoonishly evil with a capital E, while the same era’s British Empire is held up as an heroic ideal. Meanwhile, the main villain is a nightmare of bad CGI, who looks like he belongs on a 1980s heavy metal album cover.

I just can’t get aboard the hype train that Hollywood pulls every year when they promote their ‘summer blockbusters’. For starters, this story moves way, way too fast for this crap-fest’s own good. They jump from this to this and there is no time to breathe, catch up with characters or develop any sense of location. The “plot” – from beginning to end – is illogical and almost incoherent. A group of hyper warrior females who don’t do anything constructive (eg. farming) aggressively battle each other day and night. It’s not clear why they do this because when the going gets tough, they refuse to fight, except with a group of German (what a surprise!) soldiers who they attack before they even know they are enemies.

These types of illogical double standards continue throughout the entire film. As for the leading lady, she has no muscle and looks like she’s never been inside a gym. No need to worry about that though, the 2022 remake will see her in a burka. But in this one Gal Gadot’s embarrassing lack of commitment to every scene is uninspiring. They could have found better so why choose her? Whoever chose to cast her deserves penal servitude. The women training her in the film looked fitter and in better shape than Gal Gadot, despite being twice her age.

All this seems like a bad parody of Thor and Captain America, without the humour, without a plot, and atrociously bad acting from an otherwise good cast. If you get your rocks off on meaningless gratuitous violence, you may love this. As for fair minded pacifists like me, I am outraged this is considered entertainment. Hollywood clearly has an agenda: let them eat shit, as that’s what they’re serving most of the time. Like feminism and other anti-European Male propaganda that the lame stream media churns out, its so fucking boring. If you haven’t seen it, don’t. Don’t waste your time, petrol money, money for parking etc just to sit beside open-mouthed zombies with their shock and awe expressions. Save your shekels. This shit doesn’t even deserved to be pirated… Anyway, Marine Le Pen is the real wonder woman.

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Comments

  1. This looked truly awful in the trailer and I’m not surprised by the confirmation that the film turned out to indeed be crap. Thanks to you and other online reviews I’ve found, I’m definitely giving this a miss. 😛

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Wise decision. How anyone can stomach most of what modern Hollywood is churning out now is beyond me. A mass boycott of this stuff should be enacted.

    Like

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